Why taking it slow might heat up your sex life

Sometimes it’s better to have a quickie than to have no sex at all.

But when you do have the time for longer, sweatier, and intense sex sessions, jump at the chance! Engaging in slow sex is a wonderful opportunity to not only spice up sex and make it last longer but it can drive up the intensity of orgasms, increase intimacy between partners, and become a holistic sensory experience—incorporating sight, sound, taste, sensation, and smells.

Here we’ll go through what taking it slow looks like, what edging is and why it’s fantastic, and some tips and tricks to incorporate into your next lengthy romp.

Let’s take it slow

For many, slow sex is an incredible way to orgasm: in a study conducted in 2021, women who participated averaged 14 minutes to climax. Some were able to orgasm as fast as six minutes, while others were 20 minutes or longer. In any case, a key recommendation from the study was to slow down the pace of sex.

Orgasm isn’t always the goal of sex (as incredible as it is). Connecting with a partner is just as important. Sometimes that’s going fast and furious, while other moments require that extra time and patience. Let the journey guide you, not the destination.

What about edging?

One of the most incredible ways to delay gratification and keep a slow, steady pace is through edging. If you’re unfamiliar with it, edging is exactly as it sounds: going slow and getting close to the edge, in this case an orgasm, and backing off completely before starting the process over again. Edging helps sex last longer, and is a great way to add intensity to your sexual routine.

Tips and tricks on how to slow down

If you’re looking for a few ways to slow down, we’ve got you covered.


Long drawn out kisses are underrated. Kissing so long you forget what time it is or where you are is, too, underrated. Channel your hedonistic energy into slow or fast or wet or passionate kissing for as long as possible to slow down and let the experience linger longer.


It can’t be said enough that foreplay is one of the best parts of sex. You can use sex toys, lube, your imagination—anything to help build anticipation, stamina and deepen your satisfaction.


Sex can be pretty rhythmic. When incorporating breath into the rhythms of sex, it’s like adding in a new instrument to a song. Breathing deeply during sex functions the same way as practicing it during meditation: oxygen increases in the blood and helps relax the body. In another way, too, syncing up your breath with your partner’s can unleash powerful sensory feelings.

Explore other sexual practices

Have you ever tried Tantric sex?

Use lube

Lube can be incorporated early on, like during foreplay, to slow the pace to eventual penetration; heightening lube sensation and overall desire. Try a lube from K-Y® LUBRICANT-Naturals* to intensify your journey to orgasm.

*Ensure this product is right for you. Always read and follow the product label.