How Do I Get Out of My Head During Sex?

Patterns of overthinking, anxiousness, and stress can cause intimacy issues in even the healthiest of relationships. Oftentimes, the anxiety of sex can quickly turn your desire and passion into a distraction, leaving you feeling distant and alone.

For females, this is usually tied to changes in their bodies during both pre- and post-partum pregnancy or menopause. For males, various forms of stress can lead to instances of erectile dysfunction that may impair performance in the bedroom.

No matter what the cause of being in your head is, it does not have to be a permanent experience.

Read on as we explore our top sex tips to help you get out of your head and into the sheets with your partner.

1. Communicate your sexual desires with your partner

When we are stressed in the bedroom, there is a good chance we are consumed with thoughts of “how is this affecting my partner?”, “what’s my partner going to think about my performance?”, or “what if I don’t satisfy my partner?”.

Opening up about your sexual desires and addressing these insecurities is one of the best ways to get out of your own head. Not only is this a great starting point for rebuilding intimacy, but it can help boost your confidence, spice up your sex drive, and promote more mutual pleasure in the bedroom.

Begin by letting your partner know about what you like during sex and foreplay and what you would be open to exploring. Next, it’s helpful to ask your partner to tell you what they like. This can take away some of the guesswork in wondering whether or not you’re satisfying them.

2. Practice Mindfulness to Stay Present

Mindfulness is a helpful therapeutic technique that can be achieved by focusing on your own awareness of the present moment. Reaching the point of mindfulness during sex and intimacy can help you experience and accept your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without interpretation or judgment.

One of the best ways to stay present in the moment is by taking a few deep breaths before and during sex. Doing this can relax the mind and bring your focus to the sensation of your body. Another great way to help you stay mindful is by reciting mental mantras in your head. Examples of this include “I am present”, “I am enough” and “I am grateful to be in this moment with my partner”.

3. Focus More on Pleasure

Focusing either on your partner’s pleasure or your own pleasure is yet another smart technique.

When we take our time to make the sexual experience more pleasurable for our partner, it can help us last longer in bed and heighten their intimate experience with you. A great accessory to help you accomplish this is by investing in some quality lube.

K-Y® Lubricant Gel * is a water-based formula that can help you and your partner prepare for intimacy quicker than ever before. This lubricant gel can heighten pleasure and comfort during both foreplay and sex.

Another great way to prioritize pleasure is by incorporating sex toys into the bedroom. Not only do sex toys provide adventure, novelty, and a bit of kinkiness, but they are a great way to help add pleasure to your relationship without having to think much about it!

*Ensure this product is right for you. Always read and follow the product label before use.

Over To You

Considering how often sex can spike feelings of insecurity or anxiety, it’s no wonder so many couples struggle to get out of their own heads. Some of the best ways to combat this are by opening up to your partner, staying present in the moment, and prioritizing pleasure above all else.