Communicate Your Way to Better Sex with These 5 Techniques
Communication is a fundamental part of a healthy romantic relationship. The problem is, most couples don’t know how to open up to their partners about sex. Though communication doesn’t sound sexy, it’s capable of opening the doors to more desirable, passionate, and thrilling sex.
From discussing boundaries to expressing kinks or fantasies, read on to explore some of the best communication sex tips to help you spice up the romance in the bedroom.
Why Communication Matters During Sex
Discussing sex in an open and honest way has the power to completely transform your sex life for the better. Studies have found that strong sexual communication is positively associated with greater levels of sexual satisfaction.
Practicing sexual communication can help couples express desires, explore fantasies, and learn more about what they want. Not only can it help make sex much safer for us, but it can help strengthen our connection, both inside and outside of the bedroom.
Here are 5 communication techniques to help you have better, more pleasurable sex.
1. Consider your own desires and boundaries
Before opening up in a conversation with your partner, it’s important to begin by considering your own sexual desires and boundaries.
It can help to open up the conversation by expressing what helps turn you on. Beginning with foreplay, it’s helpful to discuss how you like to be touched – whether that be through oral sex, manual stimulation, or perhaps a combination of lubricant and sex toys.
For many couples, this conversation can be a type of foreplay that can drive up arousal to help initiate more pleasurable sex.
2. Invite your partner to share their needs
There are times when having a conversation about sex can feel a little uncomfortable. One of the ways to help push the dialogue forward is by inviting your partner to share their sexual needs with you.
It can even help to initiate the conversation by letting them know this is a safe space to be open and vulnerable. Begin by asking open-ended questions about their sexual needs all while giving them positive reassurance along the way.
Some helpful questions you can ask your partner include “what turns you on the most?”, “where do you like to be touched?”, or “what’s your favourite way to show me you want me?”.
3. Be specific about what you want
Once you start getting busy in the bedroom, it’s important to be clear about what you enjoy (or don’t enjoy). If what your partner is doing feels good, it helps to let them know to keep going!
Perhaps you need a bit more stimulation before jumping straight into intercourse. For mutual pleasure, the best lube type to try is the K-Y® Lubricant Naturals® Intimate Gel*. This water-based formula is designed to make the most intimate feel smoother and oh-so-passionate.
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4. Speak up if you’re not comfortable or unsure
So, you’ve been exploring some new sexual techniques that you don’t particularly enjoy. Though it may feel easier to deal with the discomfort to avoid having to speak up, this can worsen the issue down the road.
Since it’s very likely that your partner is not recognizing your discomfort, it’s best to vocalize this to them early. One sex expert recommends taking responsibility for the way you desire to be touched by expressing it out loud.
For example, rather than stating “I don’t like it when you…” rephrase this by saying “you turn me on so much when you [insert pleasurable action], I would love it if you did that instead”.
5. Maintain an open line of communication (before, during, and after sex)
Practicing sexual communication doesn’t necessarily mean you need to sit down and have a formal conversation with your partner. Instead, it can take place during more intimate moments leading up to sex such as during foreplay, while switching positions, or while cuddling afterwards.
Check in with each other as you explore different sexual activities. Once you’re done, it’s also helpful to reflect on how things went, what you found pleasurable, and what you’d like to do differently next time.
Everyone is unique in how they enjoy giving and receiving pleasure. Sexual communication helps us stay in tune with ourselves and our partners which can lead to more incredible sex.
Whether you’d like to buy lube, experiment with new sex toys, or prolong foreplay to enhance your experience with your partner, talk it out!